Feminism, Patriarchy, and the Forgotten Stories of Working-Class Men

Feminism, Patriarchy, and the Forgotten Stories of Working-Class Men

As a baby boomer, I’ve watched the evolution of feminism over the decades. The feminist movements of today, while powerful often leave me puzzled. The narratives I hear sometimes seem to exist in a bubble, disconnected from the realities I witnessed growing up in a tight-knit, working-class, Black community.

My father was a blue-collar laborer, as were many of the men I knew. These men had trades and skills—electricians, mechanics, carpenters, and factory workers. They weren’t patriarchs in the way feminism often portrays men today. They were providers, doing backbreaking work in coal mines, construction sites, and factories to feed their families. Their lives weren’t defined by domination but by sacrifice.

These men endured systemic racism, workplace exploitation, and societal disrespect daily. Yet, they pressed on because, for them, pride in being a man was secondary to ensuring their families were safe, fed, and stable. Their strength came not from power over others but from their relentless dedication to their families.

In today’s feminist discourse, I hear a lot about patriarchy as a system that benefits men at the expense of women. While there is truth in critiquing systemic gender inequality, the men I grew up around weren’t beneficiaries of this system—they were survivors. They didn’t wield power in boardrooms or politics. They were at the mercy of the same oppressive structures that limited opportunities for everyone in our community.

I think about a man in my neighborhood who struggled with alcoholism. Even he was part of a family unit. His wife stayed by his side, supported by the community. When he drank too much, he wasn’t celebrated as a patriarch; he was sent to sleep in the garage—a humbling reminder that family and accountability came before personal indulgence.

What strikes me as missing in some feminist narratives today is a recognition of the nuance in these stories. The feminist critique of patriarchy often paints men as oppressors. But the men I knew were more likely to be crushed by societal expectations than to thrive under them. They weren’t oppressing women; they were standing beside them, trying to survive.

Another shift I’ve noticed is the focus on individualism in today’s conversations about empowerment. Growing up, single men or women were rare in our community. Marriage and family were the norm, not just because of tradition but because we understood the importance of collective support. Independence was valued, but interdependence was essential. Today’s feminist discourse, while rightly championing autonomy, sometimes seems to overlook the strength that comes from mutual sacrifice and community ties.

This isn’t to say that feminism is misplaced or unnecessary. Women have faced and continue to face systemic challenges that demand attention and action. But I believe feminism, to be truly inclusive and transformative, must make space for the complexities of working-class and minority communities.

The men in my life weren’t towering patriarchs but fathers, brothers, husbands, and sons who bore immense burdens for their families and communities. Recognizing their sacrifices doesn’t negate the importance of feminism. Instead, it enriches the conversation, allowing for a broader, more inclusive understanding of gender, labor, and family dynamics.

If feminism is about creating a more equitable world, it must honor the sacrifices and struggles of those who came before us—women and men alike. The men who slept in garages after a hard day’s work and the women who stood by them deserve a place in the narrative too. It’s time to broaden the lens and tell the full story.